Trying to put words to where I think I’m at this moment:
1. Integrating rhythm: As I have come to realise that a daily mix of certain components (preferably in a certain order) helps me to stay connected (quiet time, movement, little food, mind time / work, food, social, work, quiet time). If one of those components is missing I tend to stay idle or move back. Now past the awareness stage on this and slowly but gradually integrating to this more beneficial rhythm.
2. Integrating responsiveness: Have also come to realise that in my efforts to avoid certain feelings, thought etc. I have severely blunted all my senses (as it is not possible to blunt selectively) there making it difficult to be responsive to what is. Now trying to bring my senses back to live. Not so much by focusing on reviving the senses themselves but mostly by surrendering / letting go of what caused this proces to take place in the first place. By shifting to: observing, staying equanimous, staying curious, from hypothesis to hypothesis, allowing time, to next step only, clarifying intentions, checking quality of connection etc.
ps: illustration borrowed from …?