… # non-patronising

Sometimes when I react to somebody sharing personal ‘stuff’ I feel (or am told) that I can be a little patronising. That is not what I want and can now see 2 reasons for that:

1. Along with my reaction I can still have a (sometimes well hidden) intention to change / ‘help’  the other based on my ‘knowledge and experience’. Which I know to be unproductive / impossible and only results in distance instead of connection. Only remedy here is to truly let go of the urge to do that even when I see, feel or think that the other is in ‘pain ‘.

Hein & me somewhere in Utah

2. The other person is somehow is not ready or still programmed to hear my input ‘as if I know what is best for her or him’. Therefore I should always check very carefully if the other is truly asking for input from you and ready to receive it.

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Ego-Tree

My ego has served me well for many years. I grew it mainly whilst attending a primary school in France called ‘Les Chataigniers’ or (sweet) ‘Chestnut’ to protect me from all (perceived) threats in my live.

In the past few years I have however (as others before me) experienced that I feel much better when I manage to leave it aside. It has clear positive effect on the quality of my connectedness to my environment. My ego is not happy with this development and is struggling to remain a prominent component in my behaviour.

Sweet Chestnut, Mandali 2017

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