Although I sometimes know that I need to change my behaviour, actually doing it proves to be quite difficult. Especially when there is no crisis that triggers and sustains the desired transformation process. I tend to delay until a crisis leaves no other option. And that is a pity as the cost of a crisis is usually extremely high, not only for myself but also for my environment.
How it nice would it be if I could transform myself (or my organisation) without having to go through a such a crisis. It took me a while but I have finally discovered a much more attractive and less costly alternative: creating a safe environment.
Should I resolve my shoulder pain with a quick fix operation or should I change my personal behaviour in order to resolve the source of this pain? Should I go on pushing myself or accept a drop in income now in order to create space and time to secure a more suitable and sustainable source of income for the rest of my life?
Even in such crucial topics as our own health short term interests (such as income or defending our trusted assumptions in live) almost always prevail are even when they are counter productive on the long run. And actions focused on realising what is good for us on the longer term are being pushed forward. This is not only true at a individual level but at group level (in organisations, politics etc.). In long and fruitless debates (in our mind or with others) we strongly defend our personal short term interests leaving us with the unsatisfactory feeling of knowing that we harm ourselves in the long run.
Reason for me to bring this up is that when we manage to discuss that very same topic whilst putting our personal short term interest aside for a moment (which is a challenge in itself), it very quickly emerges that we usually hold a very similar or non-conflicting views on the ideal longer term solution….. It then becomes clear that what seamed to be a difference in opinions in fact is no more then our fear of the short term consequences of that solution for our personal interests. This realisation creates room to move our energy from building defence lines to clarifying these very understandable fears and helping each other to resolve these.
Holland village, Singapore, 1996