Having handed over a number of operational roles (around NL Healthcare) I start to have more ‘nothing planned in advance’ time. This allows me to gradually recharge various well used batteries and to glide down the left side of the U. Just trying to revive my senses and to see what comes up if I do not let myself guide by a sense of ‘must’ or ‘fear’.
Every other week I still need to remind myself to focus on letting go and on opening up to whatever (is already there and) ready to show itself instead of following my old habit of thinking ahead (what am I going to do next? and how will I get there?). Another relatively new topic for me is to become more aware (and get rid of) of a variety of sometimes well hidden ‘limiting beliefs’ etc. I wasn’t aware I had so many ;o)
… without knowing when you’ll be able to get new ones. That is something that I have often tried to avoid. I like to keep my old ones until I’m sure the new ones fit perfectly. Specially when it concerns an area where I have seen others getting into trouble because they didn’t.
But this time it seems I really have to let go before I know where I will land. For a while I have tried to follow my trusted method as I’m migrating to a next phase in my ‘professional’ live but somehow it does not work anymore. Not being able of letting go actually prevents me from discovering what is next.
Creative, Rational and Useless
My first major step on the road back to my own natural purpose was when I found myself in a dead end career street. This was in Singapore in 1996. After years of slowly moving forward based on force, denial and perseverance I could no longer pretend that everything was allright. I did not get fired, there was no burn out or other big crisis but I felt very much alone and unhappy. People did’t see me or when they did, preferred to avoid me. Nobody respected my insights or work. In hindsight this proved to be a blessing in disguise. It made me rent a small boat for a trip along the coast of Borneo. That is when I started listening closely to myself instead of others… Continue reading