Although I sometimes know that I need to change my behaviour, actually doing it proves to be quite difficult. Especially when there is no crisis that triggers and sustains the desired transformation process. I tend to delay until a crisis leaves no other option. And that is a pity as the cost of a crisis is usually extremely high, not only for myself but also for my environment.
How it nice would it be if I could transform myself (or my organisation) without having to go through a such a crisis. It took me a while but I have finally discovered a much more attractive and less costly alternative: creating a safe environment.
Hesitating a little bit about sharing my recent experience in the ‘Massif des Bauges‘. Not that this blog has so many followers… but the area is relatively unspoiled (whilst being quite accessible) and should therefor be handled with care. Anyway my little Defender was feeling at home and happy in this environment! ;o).
There quite a few (non-guarded) ‘refuges’. I very much liked ‘Le Charbon’ below (see details) and also in the picture above.
Each trail is a totally new and wonderful experience. The combination of animals, vegetation, weather and people is never the same and has it’s own energy, dynamics and discoveries. Trying not to replicate the experience of the previous (successful) trail used to be quite a challenge for me. This was not good for the group and not not good for me aswel. Glad to report that I have finally been able to leave that behind me (although the group was a ‘challenge’ due the great diversity in life experience and physical condition)!
One of things I’m still struggling with is that I’m ‘preaching’ concepts like: transparency, openness, vulnerability, authenticity, natural purpose, sustainability etc. whilst I’m not fully there myself… So when I speak to others about this I also speak to myself!
Somehow that doesn’t feel right. My temporary solution is to be open about the fact that I’m not there yet. Hence this small post about the process I’m still going through!
Training the mind is quite a challenge. The picture below (I took in a Tibetan monastery 2 years ago) depicts a well known buddhist tale about the meditator (you and me), the elephant (representing our ‘mind’) and the monkey (representing ‘distraction’).
… without knowing when you’ll be able to get new ones. That is something that I have often tried to avoid. I like to keep my old ones until I’m sure the new ones fit perfectly. Specially when it concerns an area where I have seen others getting into trouble because they didn’t.
But this time it seems I really have to let go before I know where I will land. For a while I have tried to follow my trusted method as I’m migrating to a next phase in my ‘professional’ live but somehow it does not work anymore. Not being able of letting go actually prevents me from discovering what is next.
I’m, by about 5 to 10 years, younger then my 3 older brothers. This age difference was too big to really connect to my brothers when still young. As a consequence I more or less grew up as an only child. Mostly observing what was happening around me with a minimum of communication and interaction.
To still be able to evaluate people and situations I had to develop strong sensing skills. Having difficulty acquiring knowledge through reading (because of dyslexia) also demanded above average ‘listening’ and ‘guessing’ skills. But only much later, when my self confidence was restored, these various ‘survival techniques’ became real assets from which I now benefit on a daily basisContinue reading →
My default mode (from childhood onwards) has always been to avoid conflicts in other to maintain the perception of harmony. With some training & hard work… training I have know learned to embrace conflicts as a valuable source of information for change and improvement. To get to that point (still not 100% there…) I first studied Non violent communication as developed by Marshall Rosenberg and got inspired by the likes of Renee Brown talking about the reasons behind our fear for conflicts, such as not being able to be vulnerable (in certain situations).Continue reading →