Is my resilience improving in the ‘community, family & friends’ quartile I was aiming for?
My increased focus on these relationships is resulting in more, more diverse and more conscious interactions. And an increased awareness on the quality of each interaction. I enjoy the process, my reduced identification with ‘introversion’, overcoming prejudices and related fears, pleasant surprises, my broadening social network and improved mental agility.
Homemade ‘connector’ meatballs
Continue readingOne of the reasons for the ‘kleine Chef’ experiment was to counter a perceived double ‘confirmation bias’ trend.
One trend being triggered by a, partly life phase driven, gradual tightening of my social bubble. Even though my non-work related social circle is, somewhat surprisingly and due to weakening introversion, growing in numbers the level of diversity of its members stays relatively limited.
now open
als je een kleine break kan gebruiken vindt je bij de kleine Chef
een heerlijke combinatie van eenvoud, aandacht & smaak!
www.dekleineChef.nl
Opening Januari 6, 2026
‘an attempt to bridge bubbles’
40 years later, I can still clearly remember the doubtful look in my fathers eyes when I told him in 1985 that I managed to escape the then still mandatory military service. He didn’t voice his feelings but I could tell, that as a fairly recent WW2 veteran, he was worried about this new trend.
Now that the world is becoming less stable I sense a need to invest in my personal resilience in order to be ready for whatever is ahead of us (as I have taken my own resilience for granted for a while).
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Slow (combination of a 10 seat Restobar and take away) is primaliry designed to be a great regenerative environment to work in the restaurant industry. Supported by an environment that is light, spacious and built with attention for detail.
Food will be based on combination of care, simplicity and well sourced produce. With a menu that offers limited choice and varies constantly based on outcome of sourcing process.
Continue readingOver the past few weeks I felt somewhat ambiguous about my ‘progress’ towards equanimity. It now however seems to me that ’progress’ didn’t stop but took another shape: my energy has shifted from expanding consciousness towards further integration of previously acquired consciousness into the various aspects of everyday life.
Gonno vdSB (Schelpen dGvE)
Looking at it from this angle I can see a decreased frequency, reduced duration and reduced impact of situations that cause destabilisation. Some patterns have disappeared all together. Main challenge remains staying aware during extended involvement in certain social activities.
A glimpse of mother’s creative energy through the exhibition
she somehow never held whilst among us.
The open field was a challenge these past few weeks. And that even though the conditions were optimal: no specific stressors, no must do’s, good outdoor weather, no health issues, imminent attractive new activity at doing level, etc.. Inactive moments nevertheless led to small flights in food, drink, sleep, media, judgement, social contact, consumentism etc. An acquaintance with a deeper level stillness that clearly requires a new level of equanimity. An experience that might be interrupted by the increased activity around Slow.
Once the intention truly manifested itself an unexpected but promising location for a ‘tiny restaurant’ emerged: Slow. A former ‘snackbar’ in the middle of a nearby ‘industrie terrein’ in process of elevating itself towards a more empowering environment: St Laurensdreef 27, 3565 AJ Utrecht
I like this particular place because it gives me a sense of freedom. Wandering through unchartered waters. A space to experiment, learn and innovate along the lines of a comprehensive design dating from 2015 (see below). Whilst hopefully contributing to the wish of the ‘industrie terrein’ to become a more welcoming, attractive and safe environment.
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After a year of ‘letting go’ and migration from doing to being, I have now finally landed in an open field. Full acceptance that the outcome might not be a specific activity but more a state of being was probably the hardest bit and still a challenge. Intention for now is to stay in this zone and let life unfold itself…
Maybe it just comes down to simple loving presence (thereby modifying the quality of my DNA).
Gezocht: Table du Chef
Utrecht / 150 m2
met vergunning / buiten de Singel
Instinctively I knew some of it. And that is why, in the last phase of her life, I mostly supported my mother in her sometimes seemingly complicated wishes and impractical choices around the conditions she wanted to live in. But only now, having consumed Being Mortal by Atul Gawande, do I fully realize what she was fighting for.
More consciousness around this topic would have helped me to have better conversations with her and possibly also to find alternative, better fitting, solutions. It would also have helped me to have more productive discussions with my siblings.
ps: aside from contribution of a higher general level of acceptance. which is hard work for all of us up to the actual moment of transition.
I have often struggled to stay close my self whilst participating in every day life. It was either one or the other. Over the years I have gradually migrated towards a ‘sound’ balance between the two.
Only recently have I finally experienced transcending this self inflicted duality. No more either or. That feels like an enormous relief! And an opportunity to leave a sizeable chunk of control mechanisms behind.
Feels I’m gradually landing in a new state that I would for now characterise as: Active Loving Being. With a simple focus on ‘loving being’ at its core. A nice place to work from. Somehow I feel a little vulnerable sharing this. Still finding out why exactly. The active part is still open but seems to gather around the following themes: creativity, connection, movement, community, … We’ll see.
It took me a few weeks to fully accept it but I’m in the middle of my next void. Existing routines and patterns, remaining convictions, certainties and truths, all are disintegrating fast. With, for now, no replacements in sight.
I feel alone and lost, walk empty minded (but not in the mental silence way), low on energy and intrinsic motivation, physically vulnerable and lacking a sense of direction. And almost no-one is reaching out: no calls, no messages, no e.mails.
Continue readingOne of the intentions behind my mini quest in Galicië was to get clarity on the content of my ‘active’ life in the upcoming ‘elder’ years.
Instead of a plan, my few days of quiet walking in this relatively pure environment allowed for mental silence to re-emerge and for (control driven) longing for clarity to fade simultaneously. To be replaced by regained trust in exclusive focus on the quality of my presence during the journey ahead. Without plan, open to the unknown and in (greater, not yet full) acceptance of any outcome.
As from that moment I instantly felt truly present again. And able to embrace the beauty and abundance of the Galician coast I was moving along step by step. Some alertness around not wanting to enter a spiral of passivity however still has to be let go off. Let’s see how this develops…
