I have come to appreciate ‘holding the space’ as one of the most loving and powerful forms of spending time together. Holding the space means to create a loving environment for somebody in which he or she can find direction or answers around whatever is relevant at that moment. I only started to realise the depth of this practice when I experienced it myself a few years ago. With gratitude to Marjolein Huber, one the most authentic and pure practitioners I haver ever met!
It takes some time to understand this concept fully and even more to translate it into practice but it creates lightness, energy and direction in every interaction. Heather Plett has written a wonderful blog about this topic which includes an overview of things to consider whilst practicing:
- Create space for people to trust their own intuition and wisdom
- Create environment in which people feel safe enough to fail
- Keep your own ego, stories etc. out of it
- Share only as much information as needed
- Don’t take power away
- Create a container for complex emotions, fear, trauma, etc
- Give guidance and help with humility and thoughtfulness (only when asked for)
- Allow for different decisions and different experiences than your own
In practices for me it still often means to consciously ‘sit on my hands’ and to create space within myself to be surprise by how life unfolds itself without any form of judgment.
This practice has connections to ‘non violent communications’, ‘deep listening’ etc. and is very helpful when building the quality of interaction between people that is required for an organisation based on distributed leadership.
Seel also ‘Deep listening‘