When a child shows behavior that is perceived as dysfunctional it usually results in surrounding adults (such as parents, teacher, helpers) starting to analyse what is wrong with this child. Followed by giving a popular label to the origin or cause of this behavior, usually somewhere on the autism spectrum. Somehow this labeling provides peace of mind to the adults and gives clarity and comfort as to what needs to be done next to ‘help’ the child to deal with this condition.

More often than not however the origins of this so called dysfunctional behavior lies not with the child but in its surrounding context (such family of origin, school, environment). The behavior is then a direct and perfectly sound reaction to a dysfunctional pattern to which the child is exposed. Meaning that the ‘solution’ for the dysfunctional behavior must also be found in the surrounding context.

It is a common reaction to look outside ourselves when something needs to change. Changing our own behavior is often not an option until all the outside options have run out. Reason being the short term reward from this behavior (ego is served) versus the short term challenges of the attempt to adapt this behavior (pain and uncertainty).

For inspiration see also: Oud zeer by Bram Bakker