To get a better understanding of what mourning (or grieving) is and to get some guidance on behavior that is helpful in the process I am following the course ‘Verlies en Rouw Begeleiding’ at the Sociale Academie Utrecht. Redefining the optimal outcome of a mourning process was already helpful for me:

Being able to go on with a positive mindset whilst staying aware of what is lost.

My interest for this topic is fourfold:

1. the focus of QOL is on removing blockages on the path back to what already is (or to desired ‘new’ behavior). More often than I originally realized the blockage is related to an unprocessed ‘loss’. In a organization this could be the departure of a founder or leader of the organization, a reorganization were some colleagues had to leave the organization, a material project that failed, etc.. At individual level this could be anything we felt attachment to and that is no longer as it was before. So not only death but also divorce, change in character of relationships, youth, home, job etc..

2. my own path to full acceptance of what is hindered by several things. One of them is attachment. This can take many forms. Some of which are still quite mundane such as my attachment to the piece of land in Westbroek were I live. It takes quite an effort to free myself from the triggers related to a potential loss of access to that land for whatever reason. And it feels liberating to go through the exercise even it though there is no expected change in my situation in the foreseeable future.

3. one of the more challenging aspects on this path is true acceptance of the impermanence of my own life and of death when the time comes. Softening or losing this attachment will probably help to further desolve my sense of duality and thereby strengthen the potential for an unconditional state of love.

4. Aart den Hartog and I preparing ourselves to facilitate complex family estate mediations. ‘Aart & Diederik Nalatenschap Mediations’ is expected to come to life in the coming months.

To be continued. Link to clarifying presentation by AdH on this:.