It is no secret that I’m a big fan of Non Violent Communication as it greatly improves the quality of my connections to others. Basis of NVC is quite simple: focus on hearing (or sharing) at the level of feeling and needs. For me this is easier said than done… at least consistently. This is partly because I still tend to hear (or share) judgments, praise criticisms etc. which blocks me from really listening. But also because my active vocabulary to describe the many feeling (‘negative’ and ‘positive’) and needs one can experience is relatively shallow.

Overview cards by Ai-Opener

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It sometime feels like everything around us is moving faster and faster. Old methods of coping seem no longer as effective as before. That makes it difficult to bring the clarity we need and leaves us with a feeling of discomfort. In my search for a better way I have come to value the combination of two neglected practices.

1. Rewilding your senses: For some time now our senses (such as taste, smell, balance and many others) have been less needed for survival and therefore less sharp. As a consequence they have also become less effective as source of information about of what is happening around us. Cleansing and strengthening my senses restores this vital flow and provides me with the relevant, deep, pure information needed at any moment. In practical terms this means becoming again more able to discern various tastes, smells etc.

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Acceptance of constant impermanence 2017

Jus a random list of potential intentions for the (work in progress!). Picking 1, 2 or 3 in the morning helps me to focus my energy where most needed. And to gradually integrate all of them into every day life…

• To just observe
• To be curious
• To let others own their own feeling
• To be still
• To sense for flow
• To be grounded
• To hear feelings and needs of others
• To seek fringes
• To embrace little things
• To be creative

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A significant career challenge might not always be pleasant but with empathic guidance it can be turned into a unique opportunity to reconnect to yourself, rediscover your potential and come back stronger and more valuable than before.

Together we design a fully personalised programme that will support you in clearing roadblocks, recharging batteries and rediscovering direction and meaning. Our support is based on broad first hand experience of all the steps involved in this process.

Sensing with one of Fares Boustanji’s buzzards

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Investigating the ‘final’ step, the art of surrender. Still far far away but the understanding of what it is about is gradually growing. Basically everything else is what you do when you are not yet ready for the moment of true acceptance. Helped ao by David Hawkins. Very American in style but quite interesting if you can read through that.

The good news is that it is not more complicated than this. Making it a constant practice is however a different matter.

I also very much like his list of all things people do before ‘giving over’ to surrendering. Quite a few things in there that I am / was still planning to do myself… ;o)

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Initial definition of the purpose of this new project (work in progress): Increased sense of well-being by maintaining equanimity in the midst of every day western life.

Underlying intentions of this purpose are to:

1. help each other to discover personal roadblocks
2. to share insights on nature of these roadblocks
3. help each other to let go of these roadblocks

By creating a centre focused on:

1. providing a safe environment in which one can experiment freely
2. providing a supportive environment that understands and facilitates equanimity
3. consistently applying empathic listening
4. consistently applying empathic sharing
5. compassion towards oneself in every situation
6. compassion towards others in every situation
7. one can meet fellow travellers on a similar quest ;o)

This project was born already 5 years ago but needed time to mature and was waiting for the right circumstances. Next step in this project are preparing a suitable location (in progress), starting to share its purpose (as I do now) and develop matching recognisable behaviour. Any feedback is welcome.

Recently handed over most of my responsibilities related to the NL Healthcare project creating space to move through my next ‘U’. Currently working my way down it’s left leg and slowly but gradually embracing new levels of acceptance and presence (getting closer to the ‘letting go’ fase) but not completely done with moving inward and sensing as yet. Step by step and with little to share at the moment.

‘In my shell’

I have come to appreciate ‘holding the space’ as one of the most loving and powerful forms of spending time together. Holding the space means to create a loving environment for somebody in which he or she can find direction or answers around whatever is relevant at that moment. I only started to realise the depth of this practice when I experienced it myself a few years ago. With gratitude to Marjolein Huber, one the most authentic and pure practitioners I haver ever met!

It takes some time to understand this concept fully and even more to translate it into practice but it creates lightness, energy and direction in every interaction. Heather Plett has written a wonderful blog about this topic which includes an overview of things to consider whilst practicing:

1. Create space for people to trust their own intuition and wisdom
2. Create environment in which people feel safe enough to fail
3. Keep your own ego, stories etc. out of it
4. Share only as much information as needed
5. Don’t take power away
6. Create a container for complex emotions, fear, trauma, etc
7. Give guidance and help with humility and thoughtfulness (only when asked for)
8. Allow for different decisions and different experiences than your own

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When I observe the world around me at the moment I sense a lot of fear:
1. From long ignored voices trying to survive by following new uncertain ways to be heard.
2. From, until recently confident, voices that start to realise that the future might not be as simple and predictable as before.

As both voices are becoming louder and louder tensions rise further and it becomes more and more difficult to really listen to one another. In other words we are moving up the conflict ladder whereby the focus moves towards short term self interest. Reducing quality of life of all involved and making reconciliation harder to achieve.

The moments that I’m capable to observe without judgement, craving or aversion, I realise that I’m as much part of this reality as anybody else. That I’m also responsible and need do to my part. The sooner I (we…) start moving down the conflict ladder the less painful the, in the long run unavoidable, transition to a more balanced and inclusive order / world will be.

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