Sweet Chestnut 2017
Geen categorie
Sustainable long term solutions vs conflicting short term interests
Should I resolve my shoulder pain with a quick fix operation or should I change my personal behaviour in order to resolve the source of this pain? Should I go on pushing myself or accept a drop in income now in order to create space and time to secure a more suitable and sustainable source of income for the rest of my life?
Even in such crucial topics as our own health short term interests (such as income or defending our trusted assumptions in live) almost always prevail are even when they are counter productive on the long run. And actions focused on realising what is good for us on the longer term are being pushed forward. This is not only true at a individual level but at group level (in organisations, politics etc.). In long and fruitless debates (in our mind or with others) we strongly defend our personal short term interests leaving us with the unsatisfactory feeling of knowing that we harm ourselves in the long run.
Reason for me to bring this up is that when we manage to discuss that very same topic whilst putting our personal short term interest aside for a moment (which is a challenge in itself), it very quickly emerges that we usually hold a very similar or non-conflicting views on the ideal longer term solution….. It then becomes clear that what seamed to be a difference in opinions in fact is no more then our fear of the short term consequences of that solution for our personal interests. This realisation creates room to move our energy from building defence lines to clarifying these very understandable fears and helping each other to resolve these.
Holland village, Singapore, 1996
QOLunch
Purpose (version 1): Contribute to Quality of Life through enjoyable and regenerative interactions by creating an environment in which people feel save enough to open up and to connect to others through sharing of stories (without expectation) and listening (without judgement) supported by simple but delicious food and drinks.
3d QOLunch logo attempt
… # non-patronising
Sometimes when I react to somebody sharing personal ‘stuff’ I feel (or am told) that I can be a little patronising. That is not what I want and can now see 2 reasons for that:
1. Along with my reaction I can still have a (sometimes well hidden) intention to change / ‘help’ the other based on my ‘knowledge and experience’. Which I know to be unproductive / impossible and only results in distance instead of connection. Only remedy here is to truly let go of the urge to do that even when I see, feel or think that the other is in ‘pain ‘.
Hein & me somewhere in Utah
2. The other person is somehow is not ready or still programmed to hear my input ‘as if I know what is best for her or him’. Therefore I should always check very carefully if the other is truly asking for input from you and ready to receive it.
Ek On Kar
Simple mantra to raise above daily ‘obstacles’ and feel connected
View from Mandali, Lago d’Orta
My take on it’s meaning is: One (Ek) – Awareness (Aum) – Always (Kar)
My preferred version is by Satkirin Kaur Khalsa from her album Lightness of Being
Work to do on ‘limiting beliefs’
Looking back at my time with the NL Healthcare initiative I believed then that I had gradually managed to create an environment in which the people I worked with could feel free to express alternative, far-out or contradicting views. Although this was probably relatively true when compared to most other institutions, it doesn’t mean it was also true in absolute terms…
Leaving your comfort zone…?
Although creating a safe environment is very important to me, my focus was mainly on aspects that confirmed this belief and not enough on to the signals that there was still much room for improvement! In doing so I based myself on false assumptions: main one being that if people (based on their experience, knowledge or intuition) knew of a better way they would speak up. As a consequence (even as early practitioners of distributed leadership principles) we did not live to the potential of the organisation.
In a temple pond in Kyoto
Eikando Zenrin-Ji temple Kyoto, August 2017
Back to the basics of self-organisation
Valuable little booklet that summarises the essence of self-organisation. When tangled up in the day to day complexities of the transformation of a large organisation to self-organisation (which is partly still unchartered territory) it is nice to go back to the basic reasons and principles behind this valuable movement. Gives fresh inspiration and energy for the next stretch ;o).
4 expressions of ‘connectedness’
I think I hit the bottom of my latest U (around how I will focus my energy in the coming period) somewhere this summer. What emerged were various expressions of ‘connectedness’ as a key component of my quality of life. Over the past few years I have come te realise at the experential level that my degree of connectedness is probably the single most determining contributor to my sense of well-being.
Doppio 22.07.2107
So it seems QOL will, for the time being, focus on the following four expressions of connectedness:
- Social (focus on connectedness between others): conflict resolution, QOL lunch restaurant, promotion of distributed leadership, QOL 154 practice center
- Nature (focus on connectedness with what is close-by): 2 year ‘rewild your senses‘ programme, next fase ‘samen gezond’, experimenting with permaculture
- Heart (focus on connectedness with oneself): help to remove ‘roadblocks’, observing without judgment, attending to extended family and friends, (at)tensions, vipassana
- Personal (focus on connectedness with myself): daily mini-retreats, attending to personal needs, next levels of acceptance, yoga
The beauty of Permaculture
Or how to feed ourself with minimum effort and footprint: Permaculture (or natural farming). The logic and benefits of permaculture are so obvious that it is hard to understand why not everybody who is involved in agriculture has yet switched to this efficient and sustainable practice.
Three main components are: to go with the flow of your direct environment (use plants, bushes, trees etc. that need little help to flourish), focus on the quality of your earth (limit activities that degrade the earth such as ploughing) and use species that you do not need to plant again every year (at high labour and energy costs).
Mark Shepard has written an attractive book on this topic. See below for the dutch translation by Maranka Spoor en Lucas Brouns (two frontrunners of permaculture in the Netherlands).
Ego-Tree
My ego has served me well for many years. I grew it mainly whilst attending a primary school in France called ‘Les Chataigniers’ or (sweet) ‘Chestnut’ to protect me from all (perceived) threats in my live.
In the past few years I have however (as others before me) experienced that I feel much better when I manage to leave it aside. It has clear positive effect on the quality of my connectedness to my environment. My ego is not happy with this development and is struggling to remain a prominent component in my behaviour.
Sweet Chestnut, Mandali 2017
Hearing feeling and needs
It is no secret that I’m a big fan of Non Violent Communication as it greatly improves the quality of my connections to others. Basis of NVC is quite simple: focus on hearing (or sharing) at the level of feeling and needs. For me this is easier said than done… at least consistently. This is partly because I still tend to hear (or share) judgments, praise criticisms etc. which blocks me from really listening. But also because my active vocabulary to describe the many feeling (‘negative’ and ‘positive’) and needs one can experience is relatively shallow.
Overview cards by Ai-Opener
Finding direction in a ‘faster’ world
It sometime feels like everything around us is moving faster and faster. Old methods of coping seem no longer as effective as before. That makes it difficult to bring the clarity we need and leaves us with a feeling of discomfort. In my search for a better way I have come to value the combination of two neglected practices.
1. Rewilding your senses: For some time now our senses (such as taste, smell, balance and many others) have been less needed for survival and therefore less sharp. As a consequence they have also become less effective as source of information about of what is happening around us. Cleansing and strengthening my senses restores this vital flow and provides me with the relevant, deep, pure information needed at any moment. In practical terms this means becoming again more able to discern various tastes, smells etc.
Equanimity
Acceptance of constant impermanence 2017
Potential intentions for today
Jus a random list of potential intentions for the (work in progress!). Picking 1, 2 or 3 in the morning helps me to focus my energy where most needed. And to gradually integrate all of them into every day life…
- To just observe
- To be curious
- To let others own their own feeling
- To be still
- To sense for flow
- To be grounded
- To hear feelings and needs of others
- To seek fringes
- To embrace little things
- To be creative
Never waste a good (career) crisis
A significant career challenge might not always be pleasant but with empathic guidance it can be turned into a unique opportunity to reconnect to yourself, rediscover your potential and come back stronger and more valuable than before.
Together we design a fully personalised programme that will support you in clearing roadblocks, recharging batteries and rediscovering direction and meaning. Our support is based on broad first hand experience of all the steps involved in this process.
Sensing with one of Fares Boustanji’s buzzards
Distributed leadership
Energy levels rise by 30%
Letting go
Investigating the ‘final’ step, the art of surrender. Still far far away but the understanding of what it is about is gradually growing. Basically everything else is what you do when you are not yet ready for the moment of true acceptance. Helped ao by David Hawkins. Very American in style but quite interesting if you can read through that.
The good news is that it is not more complicated than this. Making it a constant practice is however a different matter.
I also very much like his list of all things people do before ‘giving over’ to surrendering. Quite a few things in there that I am / was still planning to do myself… ;o)
Still cooking on stuff
And sensing who is attracted to the same recepy
First steps into my next U (2)
Having handed over a number of operational roles (around NL Healthcare) I start to have more ‘nothing planned in advance’ time. This allows me to gradually recharge various well used batteries and to glide down the left side of the U. Just trying to revive my senses and to see what comes up if I do not let myself guide by a sense of ‘must’ or ‘fear’.
Every other week I still need to remind myself to focus on letting go and on opening up to whatever (is already there and) ready to show itself instead of following my old habit of thinking ahead (what am I going to do next? and how will I get there?). Another relatively new topic for me is to become more aware (and get rid of) of a variety of sometimes well hidden ‘limiting beliefs’ etc. I wasn’t aware I had so many ;o)
